Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Lessons and Resistance
This is day 2 for Amy. 25 more treatments. After an initial bout with nausea, the doctor did prescribe some medication and it really has made a difference! The only draw back is that it really zonks her out and she isn’t supposed to drive while on it. Many thanks to those who have stepped up to the plate and are willing to pick up our kids and run a few errands! A special thanks to our church family (Angela et all!) for wrapping our two pillars in 3 or 4 different types of purple ribbon yesterday! It looked awesome! I have had many people ask if we will be doing another ‘Purple’ day and to be honest, I really hadn’t thought about it, but towards that thought I would suggest a purple day on the day of her future surgery (as yet to be determined, after Chemo/Radiation treatment).
God has been trying to teach me something important lately and as is somewhat typical of me, I’ve been ‘resistant’ to the lesson. The lesson He’s been gently trying to teach me is this: In the face of catastrophic events, in the midst of walking the deepest, darkest chasm of your life, God can and will continue to call me into His service. He will continue to use me and to present opportunities for me to glorify Him. But God? I’ve got Amy to take care of! I have the kids to run, to feed, to clean up after, to help, to get to bed! And He answered by saying, ‘Yes, Vince..I know, but MY grace IS sufficient, please care for my sheep.’ And I am humbled…How small of me to think that just because He has Amy and I walking this journey, I should receive some sort of dispensation from doing His work. You see, God has put a friend of mine on my mind for quite some time now and although I’ve been praying for him and his family for even longer, I just really haven’t reached out to him. My biggest fear is that God wants me to be His mouthpiece to this friend as his life has spiraled out of control and his marriage is in extreme danger. God keeps putting this friend in front of me and it’s usually at an inopportune time (I mean really! Can’t you see that I’m having a pity party right now?!). So, he called the other night wanting to know if I was busy and I told him that we had teacher conferences that night. He wanted to know when, so I told him the times. He wanted to know about getting together afterwards and I just kind of paused thinking to myself, ‘This has been a long day, I don’t really want to.’ Then it dawned on me, it finally sunk in…God will only draw our paths together so many times, then the opportunity will pass. And what will be the cost of my inaction? What will be the cost of my self imposed dispensation? More over, am I willing to live with the fact that I didn’t let God use me to help a life drowning in a sea of confusion or a marriage that is in desperate need of healing? So, I met with the friend. We didn’t have the privacy needed to delve into the issue(s), but we did reconnect and it was a start. I could see the hurt & pain on his face and the anguish of a man who is very nearly at rock bottom. I’ve been there before…it’s not pretty…it’s not enjoyable and when you get there, you find that you only have two choices, either curse God and turn away from Him or turn towards Him and through the tears of pain & anguish, cry out to Jesus and leaving all of your burdens & cares at the foot of the cross, He WILL comfort you. I hope that I am up to the task of whatever it is that God intends, but I am willing to be Gods instrument however grandiose or minute.
This is Amy's story as seen and told by me - V
God has been trying to teach me something important lately and as is somewhat typical of me, I’ve been ‘resistant’ to the lesson. The lesson He’s been gently trying to teach me is this: In the face of catastrophic events, in the midst of walking the deepest, darkest chasm of your life, God can and will continue to call me into His service. He will continue to use me and to present opportunities for me to glorify Him. But God? I’ve got Amy to take care of! I have the kids to run, to feed, to clean up after, to help, to get to bed! And He answered by saying, ‘Yes, Vince..I know, but MY grace IS sufficient, please care for my sheep.’ And I am humbled…How small of me to think that just because He has Amy and I walking this journey, I should receive some sort of dispensation from doing His work. You see, God has put a friend of mine on my mind for quite some time now and although I’ve been praying for him and his family for even longer, I just really haven’t reached out to him. My biggest fear is that God wants me to be His mouthpiece to this friend as his life has spiraled out of control and his marriage is in extreme danger. God keeps putting this friend in front of me and it’s usually at an inopportune time (I mean really! Can’t you see that I’m having a pity party right now?!). So, he called the other night wanting to know if I was busy and I told him that we had teacher conferences that night. He wanted to know when, so I told him the times. He wanted to know about getting together afterwards and I just kind of paused thinking to myself, ‘This has been a long day, I don’t really want to.’ Then it dawned on me, it finally sunk in…God will only draw our paths together so many times, then the opportunity will pass. And what will be the cost of my inaction? What will be the cost of my self imposed dispensation? More over, am I willing to live with the fact that I didn’t let God use me to help a life drowning in a sea of confusion or a marriage that is in desperate need of healing? So, I met with the friend. We didn’t have the privacy needed to delve into the issue(s), but we did reconnect and it was a start. I could see the hurt & pain on his face and the anguish of a man who is very nearly at rock bottom. I’ve been there before…it’s not pretty…it’s not enjoyable and when you get there, you find that you only have two choices, either curse God and turn away from Him or turn towards Him and through the tears of pain & anguish, cry out to Jesus and leaving all of your burdens & cares at the foot of the cross, He WILL comfort you. I hope that I am up to the task of whatever it is that God intends, but I am willing to be Gods instrument however grandiose or minute.
This is Amy's story as seen and told by me - V
# posted by Vince @ 10:50 AM 
