Amy's 'momentary trouble'

Why is this continuing?
I see the desperation born of pain written across her face & pleading from her eyes.
Body writhing, she contemplates her plight and asks what she’s done that is so terrible, so offensive as to bring this seeming act of justice upon her weary, broken body.
She wants to get up, she knows she should be up and moving about; she’s missing out on baseball and T-ball games, running the kids to summer programs and to friends houses to play, but her desire to get up and care for her family is utterly crushed by her pain…and in her helplessness cries out, ‘I JUST WANT TO FEEL BETTER! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?’
At times she squeezes my arm as hard as she can, hoping beyond hope that she can transfer even a little of her pain to me. Yet at other times, she holds me close…quietly trying to absorb some of my energy and strength. She has no strength, no endurance of her own. Any that she did have is used up in the grit, sweat, tears and raw determination she expends in withstanding her pain.
She gets up and paces the floor, repeating over and over again, ‘I don’t know what to do! What do I do?, I don’t know what to do! What do I do? Oh why oh why wont this pain go away!’
At the pinnacle of her pain, she goes to her knees and in between sobs she cries out to God, begging Him to relieve her of the pain…

After reporting last week that Amy was slowly, but surely feeling better, I feel the fool. This weekend was not a good one for Amy. I am thankful that the episode I described above wasn’t one consistent episode that lasted the entire day, but rather a single episode that lasted about an hour or hour and a half. Imagine going through the surgery that Amy did and having all of those internal sutures; across your stomach and intestinal area and then having your stomach muscles cramp up like a tight fist. Squeezing and pulling at those sutures and at the wounds trying to heal. She’s in a terrible cycle of pain: She takes medication to relieve her pain, but her pain medication causes her to be constipated, the constipation causes the cramping, which causes the pain, which in turn causes her to take the medication.

It is absolutely heart wrenching watching my wife endure this. It is frustrating and maddening knowing that I am completely helpless, I am without recourse. There is nothing I can do, nothing I can say, nothing I can give to her that would give her the immediately relief she seeks. We ask the doctors about it and as long as Amy isn’t presenting with any other symptoms (fever, vomiting, etc), they don’t seem overly worried about it. So where do I turn? Where do I go for help? Psalm 121:1-2 reads ‘I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.’ So, I went to God’s word and found out that a great many of God’s chosen suffered too:

Jeremiah 15:18 – Incurable pain tempted Jeremiah to doubt the character of God.
Job – The entire book of Job chronicles the sufferings of a Godly man.
Ex. 4:10-16 – Moses, the man who lead Israel out of bondage had a speech impediment.
1 Timothy 5:23 – Timothy suffered from stomach problems.
2 Co 12:7-10 – The apostle Paul suffered a ‘thorn in his flesh’ that God never removed.
Mark 3:20-21 – Jesus’ own family thinks he’s mad

There are many more examples, but the point is all of us during our lifetime will deal with pain. Job’s wife told him to ‘..curse God and die.’, but he didn’t. He didn’t understand what was going on, or why God was allowing this to happen, but he stayed true to Him. He didn’t turn his back on God even when he lost everything. And as a reward for persevering and staying true to God, Job was restored and not just restored, but restored with 7 times over what he had before.

1 Peter 4:19 says – So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should entrust themselves to their faithful creator and continue to do good.

This is Amy's story as seen and told by me - V