Amy's 'momentary trouble'

This has not been the best of weeks for me. I've struggled with feelings of doubt surrounding being a good father and provider to my kids and family as a whole. The emotional, mental and physical pressure builds over time and if I’m not careful, threatens to overwhelm me. Of course I have no choice except to press on. Previous to Amy’s cancer, I thought we shared in the household duties pretty well, but I truly have no idea how women who work outside of the home full time can put in 8 hours, come home and prepare supper, make sure the laundry and dishes are done, run interference between the kids, get the kids showered/bathed and in bed, without any help. Sure we have the kids to help, but do you honestly think they do them naturally without prompting? I know were not the only parents that have had to deal with this issue, but I can only focus on so many tasks until I’m not doing any of them very well. I am SO thankful for friends, neighbors and family who are willing to sit with Amy, drive her to her treatments, mow our yard, cook us a meal or even just drop by and let us know that they’re thinking and praying for us. Sometimes you get into a routine and just by nature of completing tasks, you can start to feel a little isolated. I know that after every posting I always put ‘This is Amy's story as seen and told by me – V’ and that I’m straying from the chosen subject today, but my thoughts are a jumbled mess. I’m not really feeling the ‘woe is me, pour little Vince’ that this might be sounding like, but rather the pressure. Pressure from work to perform, pressure from home to make sure that the things that need to get done are done, pressures from church, pressures from family, pressures from almost every aspect of my life. And all I really want to focus on is Amy.

Amy hasn’t felt very well the last couple of days, stomach pain and I’m sure the kidney stone(s) aren’t helping. She hasn’t gotten out of bed much and she really needs to as she needs to build her strength back up.

Carbon, under 5 gigapascals of pressure, becomes diamond. Dirt under the same pressure just becomes rock. I sure am glad I’m a carbon based life form. I know that God is there and I know that he has sustained me and is actually carrying me through this. It’s just hard…and tiring.

This is Amy's story as seen and told by me – V