Amy's 'momentary trouble'

Each year on the Friday following Thanksgiving, Amy, her three sisters, brother and their mother, would head out at the crack of dawn and hit the early bird specials and thus the official Christmas season would begin. The night before, each of them would pour over the ads, making lists and prioritizing purchases. Then they would put their heads together and formulate a plan…where to start and what time. Amy cherished that day, in part because she got to go shopping, but more importantly because she was with her mother and siblings and boy would they laugh and carry on...and that's what Amy enjoyed the most! This year, Brittany and I got up at 4:15 a.m. to make it to Kohl’s for their 5:00 a.m. opening. It was WAY too early and there were WAY too many people and we both wished that Amy could have been there, but we did have fun. After Kohl’s, we went and had breakfast together and then hit Wal-Mart; we were only gone for about 2 ½ hours, but that was enough for us!

Tonight, in Waterloo, Iowa, a memorial service was held in Amy’s honor. Mom called me and let me know that somewhere in excess of 400 people showed up. Being one of the busiest days in the year, I believe it provides a testament to exactly how well Amy was liked and respected. Below is a reading I prepared and had my brother-in-law (Randy) read in my absence:

Amy & I met in September of 1985, in the student union at the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls. I had just returned from working all summer at a YMCA camp on Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire and had gone up to the University to look up some of my friends whom I hadn’t seen all summer. As I walked into the building, I spotted one of my friends sitting with someone I didn’t know. Heading their direction and being a male, I checked this other girl out and in essence this is what went on in my brain: …female…messed-up hair pulled back into ponytail…wearing sweats…looks sweaty…BIG owl like glasses…rather non-descript…final analysis: Plain Jane, not interested. I know, I know…’How shallow can this guy be’ and you’re right I was, but I’m here to tell you that is how the majority of young men think. Anyway, my friend introduces me to this girl and her name was Amy VanBesien. I say hello & discover that my friend and her work together at Showbiz Pizza. I finish my conversation with my friend and that was that. The very next day, I was sitting in the union at a large table with a number of my friends, chatting or playing cards when this girl approaches the table and says ‘Hi, guys!’ I look up and again, this in essence is what went on in my brain: WOW!...long wavy dark auburn hair!...beautiful green eyes!...nice makeup, not overstated…LONG legs!...final analysis: Wow! Who is this girl! I lean over to my same friend from yesterday and I say to her, ‘Who is that girl!’ and she looked at me weird and said, ‘That’s Amy, you know, from yesterday?’ and out loud I say, ‘NO WAY!’ Well, evidently the day before, Amy had just gotten out of Tennis class where she had gotten hit in the eye with a tennis ball. Hence the sweats, pulled back hair and BIG owl like glasses on. The difference in her appearance between the two days was SO striking that I was actually dumbfounded.

As of this past August 1st, we were married for twenty years and whether it is messed-up hair, wearing sweats & BIG owl like glasses like the first day we met or if she’s dressed to the nines, I loved Amy…I still do. If I had to do it all over again, I would gladly repeat every moment with her, only this time I’d cherish each minute…every moment I had with her. There simply are no words that adequately describe how deeply I miss Amy; every time I turn over in bed, she is gone…when I sit down to watch our favorite T.V. show, she is gone. I can never again touch her cheek…smell her hair…kiss her lips, this side of heaven. Through out this journey, God has been teaching me a lesson and preparing me for His purposes. The lesson He’s been gently trying to teach me is this: In the face of catastrophic events, in the midst of walking the deepest, darkest chasm of your life, cling to Him. In Hebrews 13:5 our Lord says ‘..Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ and where I know that is the truth, from my perspective, the days and months ahead seem bleak…the color has gone out of the world and everything is muted…dull. Amy brought light and vivid color to my life and to every life she touched. She brought texture and a depth to an otherwise non-descript canvas. Our experiences, the years we were blessed to have together and our love for each other filled that canvas with stark and vivid scenes which God painted with each stroke His plan, being the author and perfecter of our lives.

There is a huge, Amy sized hole in my heart that only time and God can fill. Matthew 11:28 tells us to: ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.’ And Isaiah 41:10 says ‘So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’

I miss you my love and besides my salvation, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you for being a great wife and a great mother to our children. I count it an honor and a privilege to have known you and to have called you my wife…my friend…my love.

For the love of Amy - V