Amy's 'momentary trouble'

As I look back over my life I find that it is very much like a book; sometimes it’s a history book, sometimes a comedy, and at other times tragedy and drama. All of it moving chronologically through my life as a child…a teenager…a father. Some chapters are a good read, while others most resemble a dime store novel…lots of pages but not very exciting or interesting. But when I stop skimming the book and instead focus on specific instances or chapters, my feelings turn mixed. Some of those chapters disappoint me and I find myself longing to revisit those times and re-write my thoughts or actions and thereby changing the outcomes. But because it's the past, what was done is done and is out of my reach. However, while I can't re-write my history, I can learn from these missteps and I realize that’s OK. My mother, grandmother and Amy, are in the volumes that rest on the shelves of my memory. Daily, I lift each out tenderly and with affection page through their chapters, their stories and relive their heritage and love to me. I laugh and I weep and enfolding the volumes, I hold them close, reliving each moment I shared with them, sharing them with my children and others who have been touched by their lives. The chapters that contain stories of my friends and family are very dear to me and I hold precious each chapter that contains my memories of Amy. I retrace these memories and read the many treasured stories I have accumulated. There too, are chapters that I find difficult to read and the memories of these fill me with regret and the wish to go back and change some of the causes of those difficulties, but I know that is not possible. I do however, take comfort in the fact that Amy and I dealt with those chapters years ago, coming to terms with…forgiving and moving past them. I just wish those times weren’t wasted so foolishly. I can only make sure that I conduct my current and future relationships better. You see, the book of my life is still being written and as the chapters daily unfold, I want to strive to make each chapter worth the life it is printed on.

May we all be inscribed in the Book of Life.

For the love of Amy - V